The Cotton Candy Presidential Primary

AND THEN THERE WAS ONE!

Opinion

by David Hinz

A Presidential Primary Season that began almost as an embarrassment of riches, with so many seemingly good candidates vying for the two nominations, has turned into an Agatha Christie-style murder mystery. Like her classic, Ten Little Indians (the British version of which I will not even consider discussing), the candidates have been killed off one by one, until we are left with only one credible choice.

Oh yes, I am well aware of the fact that there are still three candidates with legitimate chances for their Party’s nomination – but only one is a viable choice for President of the United States.

In what Steven Spielberg alternative universe is Barak Obama a serious candidate for the highest office in the land? Only those nubile sycophants on their knees proclaiming, “Help us Obama Wan, you’re our only hope,” could look at this child with anything less than amusement. As one pundit so adroitly stated, he needs at least one more term as Student Council President before he is ready to by POTUS.

The platitudes for hope and change – mindless slogans designed to make the voters feel good – without resorting to actual ideas or issues, are perfect metaphors for the vacuous dearth of leadership of the Democrat Party. A heart attack results in change – with very little hope. A marijuana buzz is big on hope – with little chance of change. He hopes to ride the cult of personality into the White House without ever resorting to answers. He has an opportunity to do this because of his opponent in the Democrat contest.

In what acid-induced Lewis Carroll dream sequence is Hillary Rodham Clinton qualified to hold ANY office, much less the office of President of the United States? Like Alice in Wonderland, her campaign has alternately told the public that she is bigger than her surroundings (35 years of experience by standing behind her husband) – and that she is small and weak (the victim of Republican attacks – MS attacks on her femininity – age attacks – Obama attacks on all women); when in fact she is the Red Queen, sitting on her thrown and screaming, “Off with their heads.”

Queen Hillary, the owner of the “politics of personal destruction,” and the most morally corrupt campaigner in the history of our nation (how many Chinese dishwashers can push $2000 donations through the head of a pin?) has no more business setting foot inside the Oval Office than an intern. And yet, she is one (FBI-file blackmailed) superdelegate away from obtaining the nomination.

This has become the Cotton Candy Presidential Primary. Both Obama and Clinton look like cotton candy – all bright colors and promise – and yet, when you take a bite, you discover a mouthful of nothing. With Obama, you are left with a very sweet taste of nothing – a lingering suggestion that it MIGHT have been good, if only there had been any substance. With Clinton, on the other hand, the lingering taste is more bitter in nature, as though something distasteful and not spun sugar had been added to that stick.

Listening to the empty promises of both candidates, I am reminded of an old Gahan Wilson cartoon, in which everyone is bowing down to a huge monolith with “Nothing” written on it. All the people are wearing “N” on their backs. One sycophant is whispering to another, “Is Nothing sacred?”

Apparently, the answer to that question, if you are a Democrat, is “YES!”