What An American Looks Like

By Rose Pendendko

There I was, standing in the elevator with nothing more on my mind thanwhether I should have a carne asada or chicken quesadilla for lunch, when the 5th floor door slid open. Two Asian suits sauntered in with their Blackberrys and Bluetooth earwigs. I briefly wondered, between yawns, if Daiwa Securities had a branch office in our building, but then caught the tail end of their banter about which stocks were moving-all in perfectly manicured English. On their way out of the elevator, I followed closely, eavesdropping for a stock tip. Their conversation slid smoothly to Speaker Pelosi's Syrian blunder, or "Dawg, wazzup with that?" Couldn't help but smile walking out into the sunshine because it was a classic reminder of what Americans really look like.

Put aside your PC brainwashing for a moment: Weren't you just a little floored hearing Lennox Lewis' euphonic British accent the first time? Admit it, the King's English was the last thing you were thinking,particularly from a boxer.

English is the master key that unlocks all things American. While there are loud protests about the outsourcing of jobs, consider for a moment the aspiration of Indians in Bangalore to learn English, adopt cool American names (like "Spike" or "Kelly") and readily help you with your computer problems from 8,000 miles away. Yet we have hundreds of thousands of immigrants invading our borders and evading our laws with barely an inclination to learn the language. Why should they-we make it easy to reap the rewards so diligently earned by those waiting in line to become true Americans.

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